Kahani kis ghar ki?

14 09 2007

P.S. – The views expressed on this post are those of the author (whose senses have been randomly assaulted by the slew of Ekta Kapoor serials) and do reflect his views on this deeply personal topic. 🙂

 


 

This post is dedicated to the drama queen of Indian Television industry (Ekkta Kkapoor) and all the belan-waali behenjis.At the outset let me make it clear I absolutely have no interest in the serials made by Ekkta Kkapoor except for finding material to write this post and also that I do not hate EK, its just that there have been numerous occasions when I have been forced to watch her serials even when all important matches are running on the other channel. In otherwords, I want my revenge. 🙂 Comic shows, Infotainment, News and Sports Channel dominate my spent time of glaring towards the idiot box. For me – Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu thee, Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, Kkarishma, etc. are only those fuzzy images that pass by when I am at work with the remote (unless faced by an EK serial fanatic).
I can never understand that statement where they say “An Indian woman can relate to characters of Ekkta Kkapoor’s serial”.First of all how do Indian woman relate to Ekkta Kkapoor’s characters? As far as I can think of – to relate to Tulsi Ben, you have to qualify on the following prerequisites.

  1. You have to wear heavy Kanjivaram sarees (as if I know the difference) at all times.
  2. You should be staying in a joint family, which, by sheer weight of numbers, could easily create a football team and a cricket team, with complete support staff for medicals, physiotherapy, coaches, referees and bench.
  3. You should fancy cooking meals for such an eclectic mix of people.
  4. You should have (or often come across someone having) an illegitimate offspring.
  5. You should have (or often come across someone having) an adulterous spouse?
  6. When you do decide to sleep, you should do so with all the jewellery that could ever fit in a bank vault.
  7. The people around you should have a morbid habit of dying prematurely.
  8. You should live in the plush confines that are shared by Veerani parivar.
  9. Now to THE MOST important prerequisite. Your husband should be phoenix reincarnated. By which I mean your husband should die and be cremated, and then should be able to rise from the ashes to return after 42 episodes of weeping.

If you do fit all of the above criteria, go ahead and sue Balaji Films, because the resemblance to yourself can not be coincidental or unintentional. Ekkta Kkapoor has been stalking you.

Also have you ever wondered:

  • How do the ladies of the house in EK serials find time to do anything after cooking 20 odd dishes for 100 odd people every meal?
  • How come no one ever says:
    “Aate hue Baa ki dawaai lete aanaa. Aur haan saath mein saabun bhi leke aanaa, ghar mein saare saabun khatam ho gaye hain”?
    (Well that can be explained they have naukars). But why do we never see Tulsi Ben giving naukar any list of items?
  • Linked to the above point – why don’t we see any servants/maids except for dandiya night preparation? Where art thou Ramu kaka?
  • Why do Vamps wear bindis that look like tattoos related to some ancient voodoo art?
  • Finally, why do they show recaps before every episode when actually whole of the last episode was spent showing close up of Tulsi Ben weeping with assortment of people along with a funereal music playing in the background?

As an ancillary observation, I was shocked to find the ladies from my earlier organization spending the first half of a working day discussing the happenings of the serial. In that sense I do give it to Ekkta Kkapoor for bringing the womenfolk together as one. Truly Inspirational!

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