Kahani kis ghar ki?

14 09 2007

P.S. – The views expressed on this post are those of the author (whose senses have been randomly assaulted by the slew of Ekta Kapoor serials) and do reflect his views on this deeply personal topic. 🙂

 


 

This post is dedicated to the drama queen of Indian Television industry (Ekkta Kkapoor) and all the belan-waali behenjis.At the outset let me make it clear I absolutely have no interest in the serials made by Ekkta Kkapoor except for finding material to write this post and also that I do not hate EK, its just that there have been numerous occasions when I have been forced to watch her serials even when all important matches are running on the other channel. In otherwords, I want my revenge. 🙂 Comic shows, Infotainment, News and Sports Channel dominate my spent time of glaring towards the idiot box. For me – Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu thee, Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, Kkarishma, etc. are only those fuzzy images that pass by when I am at work with the remote (unless faced by an EK serial fanatic).
I can never understand that statement where they say “An Indian woman can relate to characters of Ekkta Kkapoor’s serial”.First of all how do Indian woman relate to Ekkta Kkapoor’s characters? As far as I can think of – to relate to Tulsi Ben, you have to qualify on the following prerequisites.

  1. You have to wear heavy Kanjivaram sarees (as if I know the difference) at all times.
  2. You should be staying in a joint family, which, by sheer weight of numbers, could easily create a football team and a cricket team, with complete support staff for medicals, physiotherapy, coaches, referees and bench.
  3. You should fancy cooking meals for such an eclectic mix of people.
  4. You should have (or often come across someone having) an illegitimate offspring.
  5. You should have (or often come across someone having) an adulterous spouse?
  6. When you do decide to sleep, you should do so with all the jewellery that could ever fit in a bank vault.
  7. The people around you should have a morbid habit of dying prematurely.
  8. You should live in the plush confines that are shared by Veerani parivar.
  9. Now to THE MOST important prerequisite. Your husband should be phoenix reincarnated. By which I mean your husband should die and be cremated, and then should be able to rise from the ashes to return after 42 episodes of weeping.

If you do fit all of the above criteria, go ahead and sue Balaji Films, because the resemblance to yourself can not be coincidental or unintentional. Ekkta Kkapoor has been stalking you.

Also have you ever wondered:

  • How do the ladies of the house in EK serials find time to do anything after cooking 20 odd dishes for 100 odd people every meal?
  • How come no one ever says:
    “Aate hue Baa ki dawaai lete aanaa. Aur haan saath mein saabun bhi leke aanaa, ghar mein saare saabun khatam ho gaye hain”?
    (Well that can be explained they have naukars). But why do we never see Tulsi Ben giving naukar any list of items?
  • Linked to the above point – why don’t we see any servants/maids except for dandiya night preparation? Where art thou Ramu kaka?
  • Why do Vamps wear bindis that look like tattoos related to some ancient voodoo art?
  • Finally, why do they show recaps before every episode when actually whole of the last episode was spent showing close up of Tulsi Ben weeping with assortment of people along with a funereal music playing in the background?

As an ancillary observation, I was shocked to find the ladies from my earlier organization spending the first half of a working day discussing the happenings of the serial. In that sense I do give it to Ekkta Kkapoor for bringing the womenfolk together as one. Truly Inspirational!

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16 responses

14 09 2007
Thaks

On the contrary, the kind of in-depth study & knowledge you have of KKKK serials, i am sure you are a great fan of them 🙂

14 09 2007
RP

Haha… really funny post 🙂

I have actually met two kinds of ladies who watch these shows. The kind that knows this is BS but watch’em for the lack of alternative entertainment avenues and the kind that actually empathises with all of this stuff.

Maybe this is like WWE for the womenfolk? Just as a few guys get hyper with the mindless kicks and punches, a few women prolly find happiness with these emotional dramas?

14 09 2007
Malvika

Vadiya likhya si !

15 09 2007
Pro Home Digital

you see these?
i m shocked . even my mom stooped seeing these crap serials . i thinku have done research on these. hahahahaha

16 09 2007
Kahani kis ghar ki? | DesiPundit

[…] To relate to Ekkta Kkapoor’s characters, Anshuman says you’d have to qualify on the following prerequisites: # You should have (or often come across someone having) an illegitimate offspring. # When you do decide to sleep, you should do so with all the jewellery that could ever fit in a bank vault. # The people around you should have a morbid habit of dying prematurely. […]

16 09 2007
Anshuman Dimri

Thaks & Prohome – I knew I write this post at the risk of being labeled as such. 🙂

RP – WWE for womenfolk. 🙂 Well said.

Malvika – Thanks.

6 10 2007
amreekandesi

I completely hear you on this.

Also, how come the women in these programs have nothing better to do with their lives than plan conspiracies? And dont even get me started on the funny numerology-inspired names of these programs.

Funny part being that it isnt just a couple of programs but really all soaps follow the same pattern. Does this reflect changes in our society? Or is it just a matter of stuff being forced on hapless people?

9 10 2007
Lalita

I have been forced to watch Back-t-back Saas, devar, bahu, kashish, kamla, kundan stuff often. I once fainted and had temporary amnesia when an aunt told me that I need to watch these soaps and incorporate “demonstrated” virtues into my own self. Needless to say, I avoid that aunt. Phew. Funny post.

10 10 2007
Anshuman Dimri

Amreekandesi – Good point about conspiracies. Ekkta KKapoor needs these ladies who conspire, she can spend three episodes just panning in and out of the raised eyebrow expression of the vamp as they conspire. 🙂

Lalita – LOL on the “Avoid that aunt”. I hope you have been able to inculcate some of the virtues. Thou shalt be prepared to cook for the whole 100 crew members, lest thou shalt feel the wrath of the Giant Panda! 🙂

17 01 2008
rambhai

its like an addiction for my mom~~~i mean come on how to differenciate between kahani , kusum , kum kum, they all look pretty same to me~~~i wonder if they are all the same thing~~~jus packaged differently

29 03 2008
Aparna Balodi

Parvati is my Mother in Law’s fav bahu ( Tulsi comes a close second) …Well! that wouldn’t hurt so much if i was pitted against a real person( not to forget that my Mother in Law has two other bahu ranis besides me in real life)…the fact that I am up against these reel life superbahus says a lot about the kind of impact Ekta Kapoor has on the aging female population of our country….so now i have to learn from them what is ideal and what is not, what to wear and what not, what to say/ when to say and what not…hats off to Ekta Kapoor who manages to control my destiny sitting within the confines of her studios…if you ask me ,i would give an arm and a leg to be in her boots and control the destiny of millions of other aspiring bahus( i am sure half the big screen and small screen directors would give arms , legs and whatever it takes to be designated The Queen)…
The beauty of it all is that even the menfolk of the household aren’t left unaffected…my Father in Law, a regular critic of EK soaps and also my of MIL (for watching these serials ) watches these serials with rapt attention and then utilises his spare time critising it no end ( just like you little brother- but he is a retired guy and has ample time on his hands.. the Ekta Kapoor soaps takes some time off his hands but i thought u alreday had enough to do without having to do a research on her so called no good soaps)…That is the magic of the Drama Queen!!Hail EKta!!!

23 04 2008
sujata

मज़ेदार !
आपके ब्लोग का लिंक यहाँ दे रही हूँ –
bakalamkhud.blogspot.com

sujata

12 11 2008
noorel

Just wondering if you know of a South India connection with Balaji films, productions, tele-films and the kanjeevaram sarees that the women wear in the TV episodes?

27 02 2009
Sangeeta

:)) ..nice article… i do agree with you….how do people tolerate these kind of craps……… these serials are doing nothing other than polluting people’s mind with bad bad things…

15 05 2010
Malvika

he he he !
thats the last laugh…if ur wondering…
he he he!

27 11 2012
Fae Edelen

Hello,

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